HiGHway
by AniMistress
Summary: A quirky Pokemon fic. Starts with Professor Ivy and Oak, and ends with the origins of Crackshipping and Kusoshipping revealed. Oak and Ivy discuss the most immoral things they’ve ever done..
1. Horizons

"Sam," the posh brown-haired woman leaned forward and took a sip of her tea, "let's talk. About out past, our secrets, you know..."  
"Vi!" He chuckled. "What's gotten into you?"  
"Professor..." She grinned seductively. "C'mon."  
Oak shook his head. "Professor Ivy." She gave him a manipulatively pouty face. "Oh, alright."  
She clapped. "Good!"  
"But about what?"  
"Why don't you tell me about the most immoral thing you've ever done and I'll do the same."  
"You'll finally tell me about what happened on Valencia?"  
"Exactly."  
Professor Oak sighed and began his story. "You see it happened almost forty years ago..."  
"So long?!"  
"Yes, I was young then..."  
"Very rugged, too, I'm sure."  
"Stop flattering me. Anyway, I was a young and rugged man of twenty-something." Professor Ivy turned up the radio (set on P.O.K.E. FM). Samuel Oak looked to the horizon and his eyes grew bleary.   
  
"Samuel," Flint G. Harrison, Sr. breathed his name. "You look amazing."  
"Don't flatter me. You like this outfit? Got it from--"  
Before he could finish his sentence, a tall boy of about 13 burst into the room.  
"Johnny!"  
"Oak? Harrison? What the hell are you two doing?!"  
Flint nudged Sam, "Told you he was mature for his age." Then, speaking up to the boy, he said, "Ketchum. What's it look like?"  
Giovanni "Johnny" Ketchum flushed and chuckled nervously at the scene. Flint was sitting on Samuel's lap and had his shirt, coat, and vest in his hands. Johnny shook his head and coughed. "Well...anyway, should I go? Did I--"  
"No!" Flint jumped up. "Tell you something," he grinned broadly. "Why don't you come with us on a trip?"  
"Well," Johnny looked around. "I was planning to go see some Legendary Pokemon on the Whirl Islands for mum."  
"Very well then!" Flint nodded his head to Oak. "Sam here's studying to be a professor. He'll help for sure."  
Johnny shrugged and Oak gave a long sigh. They both simultaneously said, "Why not?"  
And they set off to catch their boat. 


	2. Clouds of Mist

"'Rence!" Giovanni hugged the 30-ish man as he hopped off the ship.  
"Hey John my man!" Lawrence slapped him on the back.   
"How's Junior?"  
"Not bad."  
"How's he without a mom?"  
"Taking it pretty well. Quite a few kids at his school have two dads, so it's alright."  
"That's good." Gio smiled. "Oh! Meet Sam Oak and Flint."  
"Hey!"  
"Hi!"  
"Yo." Flint grinned. "So? About this Pokemon?"  
"Yes," Lawrence I. "Lugia." He led the three others into his laboratory.  
Lawrence motioned to the huge glass dome. "This is Lugia." The silver bird stretched his wings and shrieked. "Oh quit showing off."  
Lugia stuck out his tongue. "Yeah, whatever."  
Flint and Oak's eyes widened. "It can talk?!"  
"He."  
"No duh!" Lugia pulled down an eyelid. He glanced at Flint and grinned. "Who's this handsome lad? He's a looker."  
Flint blushed. "Go on," pressed Lawrence, "Introduce yourself."  
"Hi." Flint smiled. "I'm Flint."  
"Hey hot stuff."  
Oak twitched on the ground. Giovanni looked around shiftily.  
Lugia pressed on. "...or baby, if you prefer." Suddenly, he turned on Lawrence (who was leading the three out to safety) and screeched, "Don't you dare take him away from me! Let me out!"  
Lawrence shook his head. "I can't do that, Lugia."  
"OH YES YOU WILL OR I'LL LET MYSELF OUT!"  
"Lugia! Don't do something--"  
But Lugia opened his mouth and let out a high-powered, ice ball of energy. The glass around him shattered and he flew to Flint. Abducting him onto his broad back, Lugia flew away.  
"FLINT!!"   
  
"'Flint!' I cried for my love. But he was gone. Gone through the shrouded mist, I wept bitterly as Flint was taken away."  
Ivy blinked. "Intense." 


	3. Sedated

Chapter Three: Sedated  
Oak continued. "I dashed home as quickly as possible and grieved in my house in Pallet for years and years. I remember Delia--"  
  
"Delia?" Oak looked up at the girl in his doorway.  
"Professor! What's wrong?" She blinked her adorable hazel eyes and gave Oak that concerned look. She dashed to his bedside and snuggled next to him.  
"It's just... I'm remembering one of my past loves."  
"What happened to her?"  
Professor Oak smiled and decided not to tell Delia the truth. 'She's too young.' "Well, she was lost at sea."  
"Really?"  
"Well, abducted by a legendary Pokemon."  
"Wow! What Pokemon?"  
"Lugia, the dragon-like Legendary Pokemon with the powers of psyche."  
"Aww that's sad." Her eyes grew clouded with tears.  
Oak held Delia close, "Don't cry for me."  
"Okay..." Delia closed her eyes sedately and yawned innocently. "Love you..."  
"I love you too," Oak whispered as she fell asleep on his lap. He flipped on the TV and stared at the screen, his jaw dropping. He turned up the volume and listened intently to the announcer.  
"We bring you here to Pewter City, where the local gym leader celebrates his 100th battle. Flint Harrison, shown here," Flint waved from his spot in front of the Pewter gym, "has recently began his gym training career, and hopes to continue for quite a long time. Quoth Flint:"  
The scene switched to an interview with the gym leader. "I've chosen this path in honor of Dad. He was a great man, constantly fascinated with Pokemon..." He continued talking, and the announcer voiced-over.  
"Flint continues on about his late father, Flint Harrison, Senior. If you have heard the stories, he is rumored to have had a close relationship with none other but the legendary Lugia himself!"   
Professor Oak turned off the TV and picked up the phone. 


	4. Unannounced

Chapter Four: Unannounced  
"Delia grew into such a beautiful young woman. She had gone on a trip and was expected back that day."  
  
Delia stepped into the bus and looked around. "Excuse me, does anyone know stop for..."   
Suddenly, the bus lurched forward at the bus stop. Delia and the man in front of her fell onto the floor.  
"Get off me!" He growled.  
"Hey!" she yelled, offended by his rude behavior. "You get off me!"  
The man looked at her up and down and then directly into her eyes. Something came over the two of them and they suddenly leaned forward and locked lips. They fell again, making out on the ground.  
They parted and the man stood up. He took Delia's hand and helped her up. "Hi, I'm Giovanni Ketchum."  
"Delia Bayard."  
"Pleasure." Giovanni kissed her hand and smiled.  
"Is this the stop for Pallet?" Giovanni nodded at Delia.  
"I'll come with you if that's alright."  
"Of course! But don't you have other things to do?"  
"Not as important as you."  
"Okay!" They walked out hand-in-hand.  
They went into Oak's lab and took the elevator at the top.  
MEANWHILE...  
Professor Oak waited for the elevator. As the door opened, he saw Delia and a man making out. His eyes widened even more as he recognized the man. "JOHNNY?!"  
Giovanni turned and looked at Oak. "Sam?!"  
Delia looked from Giovanni to Oak and back to Giovanni again. "You know him?"  
"Long story." He pressed the close button. "Let's go. Sayonara, Samuel!"  
  
"That was the last I saw of them until their baby shower." Oak blew his nose into the Kleenex Ivy handed him.  
  
Delia held the little bundle in her arms and giggled. "Ash."  
Giovanni grinned proudly. 


	5. Flames

Chapter Five: Flames  
"She had to take care of the little boy somehow. She became a prostitute, as outrageous as it may seem. I remember once I consulted her on it. I had one time asked her why she wouldn't sleep with me before, and that's how I found out. I remember her little speech. 'Listen, to you this may be a fun little game, but to me it's what I call a living. What would you do if you had a little son at home, crying all night because he's hungry and the only way I can feed and water him is to sleep with some men for a bit of money?!' Amazing speech, really, but quite contradictory." He sighed.  
"I'm quite ashamed to say it," Professor Oak looked down, "but I was so happy when Giovanni left Delia to go train Pokemon and later became a mafia boss." He shook his head sadly. "But Delia sure wasn't. As always, she went to travel when she became depressed and found herself in Cerulean City. Strange as it may sound, a girl idolized her for being a hooker."  
"Oh, I understand that completely." Ivy grinned.  
"Yes, well... This girl by the name of Misty. Delia showed her a bit of things one-on-one. You know, lessons for some cash. How else was she supposed to get money?"  
"You mean, she slept with a girl?"  
"Yes. It's horrifying that this girl was only 2 years older than Delia's own seed."  
"Misty? The one that's with Ash?" Oak nodded and Ivy pondered that. "So that's why Misty's so attached to him? How cute."  
"Yes, Ash thinks she has a crush on him. He likes her too. It's sad, because, she's really just being protective of her son."  
"Son? What became of that couple?"  
"Well, to tell you the truth, Delia and Misty are still together."  
"Woah. Wait a second...Delia was a prostitute? Is that how you met her?"  
"No, we didn't meet the same way you and I did."  
"Does she even know?"  
"I think she suspects that I'm a pimp, but what can she do about it?"  
"Geez...what was she smokin'?"  
"Crack, as a matter of fact."  
"I see...but how's this embarrassing and immoral to you?"  
"Well there is more..."  
"Go on!"  
"You do know about Miltank and I?"  
Ivy chuckled, "Yep."  
"Well...I've tried Tracey."  
"Ooh...yes?"  
"But he sued me for sexual harassment. Apparently, he loves my Flint's grandson."  
"Wow."  
"I got him to drop the lawsuit though."  
"Good."  
"Yeah..."  
"What ever happened to Flint?"  
"Oh, well Flint had a son with Lugia."  
"Is that physically possible?"  
Oak shrugged, "I guess. That's where Brock gets his personality from."  
"Ah, I remember. Brock was so vulnerable and so, so easy."  
"Yes, easy definitely. Slightly perverted too, just like Lugia."  
"And you say he's with that Tracey boy of yours?"  
"Yes, gets his homosexuality from both Flint and Lugia."  
"He is bisexual though. I mean, otherwise, why'd he like me?" Ivy paused and pondered that thought. "He was very reluctant to sleep with me, though. I mean, I had to chain him--"  
Oak coughed. "You don't have to go into detail, Vi."  
"Alright. One more question."  
"Yes?"  
"If Ash loves Misty, how will you keep him away from her?"  
"No need. I never said he loved her. As a matter of fact, he loves Flint Jr."  
"Your Flint's son?"  
"Yes, Brock's father."  
"My God."  
Professor Oak grinned. "Alright, your turn Vi." 


	6. Pass that Dutch

HiGHway - Continued  
  
Note that this chapter was mostly written by a friend of mine, Alex. *big smile*  
  
  
  
"What ever happened to Ash's Pikachu?" Professor Ivy asked, looking rather confused.  
  
"Oh, yes.. Pikachu .. now I remember. Well, to make it short.. Pikachu married Gary."  
  
"You mean Ash's rival?  
  
"Yes, exactly. Anyway.. After Pikachu married Gary, Ash got extremely jealous. Out of jealousy, Ash married Bayleef, but a week after their honeymoon Ash caught Bayleef making out with Bulbasaur behind a movie theatre."  
  
"How sad.." Ivy said.  
  
"Yes, as I was saying, Ash and Bayleef made-up and had a child.. it was a Charizard."  
  
Ivy interjected, "How did THAT happen??"  
  
"Hell if I know!" Oak screamed back at her. "Now stop interrupting me you old BITCH! After Charizard got bored with playing with his toys, he burned his house down! Poor Ash was asleep and died that night from burns.."  
  
"Oh my," Ivy said. "That's terrible!"  
  
"Yes it is.." Oak said slowly. "AND SO IS THIS!!" He grabbed the nearest object and began beating Ivy with it. He soon realized it was a pen, so he stabbed her in the eye and killed her. "Is she dead?" Oak said, a little excited, and then he poked the corpse with a stick. "Yep, she's dead alright." Proffessor Oak left the room and went outside.   
  
He started skipping. "Get ready Mexico, because here I cum .. oops, I mean come!"  
  
THE END 


End file.
